Issue 3 Contents


Whatever Meets Some Young Campaigners


"T O M M Y"

Whatever: Tommy, would you describe your average day?

Tommy: Usually I wander over from the schoolyard to campaign headquarters just before the first bell.

W: And which headquarters is that?

T: Well, I'm kind of a mercenary. It doesn't really matter to me...Whoever's hot, you know?

W: Go on.

T: So I get there and they ask me if I want to make a sign. I like to paint, so I say yes. Usually I will spell a word wrong on purpose. They seem to like that a lot. Makes the voters think that kid really made the sign, which I did. Then they pair the kids up with an adult, to get that family thing going. Unfortunately, most of the adults who can take a day to hold signs in the middle of the street aren't the most savory characters. Plus, it's tough to grab a butt, even on a cold day, when yo u're puttin on the wholesome vibe.

W: With your early experience in presidential politics do you think that you'd like to run for office yourself one day?

T: No. I don't think I could hold up under the media scrutiny. I'm almost nine and I have a lot of skeletons in the closet. To be a candidate these days you've got to be planning for it by 4 or 5.

"M A R Y"

Whatever: How did you get here today, Mary?

Mary: Mommy drove me. Wanna see my smile?

W: Very nice.

M: Mommy says I should practice my smile three hours a day so that I have it ready when the lights on the press cameras go on. Usually, I practice in the car on the way to the campaign event. Today I smiled from 4:30 to 8:00 am.