Commuting by the International Champagne Swilling Squirrel
My saga continues. I sent this to some folks at work. Commuting is just the best thing on the planet - I see stuff that almost writes itself. Man, how long have some of these purported "air breathers" been out of the tree ? I'd almost rather be a seed pod, or boss worm in a flat worm culture ("platyhelminthes" to you - check it out). I've seen more intelligent life growing on year-old bread, but - I digress...
Ten Indicators That Tell You You're On Public Transportation
A few observations, based on my minimal acquaintance with "Commuter Rail/Red Line" travel. Hey, I LIKE it - it's just, well, different...
These are in no sequence:
-
"Top 10 Things That Tell You You're Ridin' The Rails"
- 1. You observe a fellow traveler with a baseball cap from a re-hab center
- 2. Your seatmate's "Right Guard" just went off tackle
- 3. Your seatmate looks like he's had electrolysis
- 4. Most of the train inhabitants look like the Simpson jury
- 5. Announcements of station stops sound like they're uttered by a guy with a Ski mask menacing a clerk at a convenience store
- 6. An INS guy walking through the car could cause an exodus of more than 60% of the travelers
- 7. Limited personal space lets you discover that the person nearest you has had implants - and you're not looking
- 8. Literature of choice is limites to the Wall Street Journal, Jackie Collins, electrical engineering white papers, Frederick Exley and Chairman Mao's Little Red Book
- 9. Beverage consumption is limited to coffee, Evian Water and "airline nips"
- 10. Nobody reads the Sports Page
I LOVE the "T" - it's the best source of material I can imagine,
outside of Angola, Attica, Huntsville and MCI Cedar Junction...
-ICSQ