Commuting by the International Champagne Swilling Squirrel

My saga continues. I sent this to some folks at work. Commuting is just the best thing on the planet - I see stuff that almost writes itself. Man, how long have some of these purported "air breathers" been out of the tree ? I'd almost rather be a seed pod, or boss worm in a flat worm culture ("platyhelminthes" to you - check it out). I've seen more intelligent life growing on year-old bread, but - I digress...

Ten Indicators That Tell You You're On Public Transportation

A few observations, based on my minimal acquaintance with "Commuter Rail/Red Line" travel. Hey, I LIKE it - it's just, well, different...

These are in no sequence:

1. You observe a fellow traveler with a baseball cap from a re-hab center
2. Your seatmate's "Right Guard" just went off tackle
3. Your seatmate looks like he's had electrolysis
4. Most of the train inhabitants look like the Simpson jury
5. Announcements of station stops sound like they're uttered by a guy with a Ski mask menacing a clerk at a convenience store
6. An INS guy walking through the car could cause an exodus of more than 60% of the travelers
7. Limited personal space lets you discover that the person nearest you has had implants - and you're not looking
8. Literature of choice is limites to the Wall Street Journal, Jackie Collins, electrical engineering white papers, Frederick Exley and Chairman Mao's Little Red Book
9. Beverage consumption is limited to coffee, Evian Water and "airline nips"
10. Nobody reads the Sports Page

I LOVE the "T" - it's the best source of material I can imagine, outside of Angola, Attica, Huntsville and MCI Cedar Junction...

-ICSQ