Issue 3 Contents


So Goes South Dakota, and So Goes...


Bob Dole is apparently doing a lot of research for his new book, "How To Lose The Republican Nomination." As I sit before my terminal monitoring all the online election services, listening to the radio and making the odd trip to the television, it' s clear to me that Dole is so desperate for a win that he focused his campaign on North Dakota rather than the delegate rich state of Arizona. It is a long held rule in American political circles that, "as North Dakota goes, so goes Alberta," but Canadia n votes are discounted in the United States even more than is their currency. In fact, and this may surprise some Whatever readers, Canadian votes are totally worthless! Plus the people who live in North Dakota are insane. I offer as evidence the fact that they have chosen to live in North Dakota. They like to say things like, "Well, sure it's remote, but it is cold," and, "My great-grandad came all the way from Scandanavia to farm this land and sooner or later something's gonna grow here!" Not enough proof, you say? Well, how about this, according to ElectionLine, 10% of North Dakota's Republicans are voting for Phil Gramm who withdrew from the race two weeks ago and who endorsed Bob Dole more than one week ago. Now I know new s may not travel quickly up there, dogsleds crossing the tundra and whatnot, but Gramm withdrew immediately after the Iowa Primary. That was only a few states away. Voting for Gramm before he withdrew from the race was sufficient grounds to have someone committed, but voting for him thereafter is criminally deranged. What's worse for Dole is that he can expect to finish no higher than third in Arizona, having totally ignored the state. Buchanan looks very strong there and Forbes has spent 4 million dollars on advertising in that state (maybe if rich people aren't going to pay their taxes we should force them to fuel are local economies by campaigning for office instead - nah, too many rich people get elected already). Alexander (another millionaire) has spen t more than 600,000 dollars in Arizona. If he too beats Dole, then Dole would finish fourth in Arizona, the same position the moribund Gramm holds in North Dakota. Way to go, Bob! Meanwhile watch for a late surge in Buchanan's numbers in both North and South Dakota as well as in Arizona. Working class people vote late, after work, and tend to live in more remote precincts. Dole and especially Forbes voters have the s ocial station to leave their businesses during the day to vote. Buchanan will wind up a relatively close second in Dole's northern plains "strongholds." -Counts