Bad Job
Date: Sat, 5 May 2001 14:03:40 -0700 (PDT)
From: gina gick
To: whatever@whatevermagazine.com
Subject: The time has come to hang up the tard-cowgirl hat for good!
Hello once again everyone! It's Gina again, and since the last time I wrote, I got married in Las Vegas and quit my job at the tard-ranch. It was bad enough before they hired the macho dumb-ass who didn't know the first thing about wiping asses (which is sad...what's there really to know??) and we didn't get along; when our supervisor called us into the office to try to make peace, he calmly told them a bunch of lies (like that I hit him and a bunch of juvenile nonsense). Everybody knows that when you're dealing with a misogynist asshole, the best thing to do is to push the homo button--and PUSH IT HARD! It doesn't make things better, but it sure gets the bastard pissed! So we're sitting in the office with the supervisor, and he's lying a lot, so I called him a cocksucker, asked him who had thier dick up his ass for him to still have a job after all his fuck-ups, and assured him that if I did hit him, he would have left work in an ambulance, and the meeting went on like that for awhile. But even after we made a corny agreement to be civil to each other, the supervisor was always finding small ways to underhandedly punish me for the unpleasantness between the Cocksucker and I (after all, she seemed to feel sorry for him after I humiliated him and exposed him as a liar at the meeting... it's funny how incompetence gets defended, isn't it?).
So I quit.
Now I work in a ware-house shipping books, with a lot of Chinese people who swear a lot. And I'm a lot less miserable.
Thanks for reading!
Love,
Gina
From nosinaround@yahoo.com Mon Feb 12 14:29:02 2001
Date: Thu, 8 Feb 2001 16:46:43 -0800 (PST)
From: gina gick
To: whatever@whatevermagazine.com
Subject: I.B.M., U.B.M., We all B.M.
Hi again, Everyone; this is Gina... last time I wrote, [see below] I shared a story where I took a retarded boy to the dentist, and hi-jinks ensued.
This job-horror story has to with a different retarded boy, and bodily functions as well.
At the facility where I work, we had a staff meeting where it was announced that an eleven year old boy who wears a colostomy bag was going to be staying for a few days and may possibly come back permanently if all went well. We were told that this boy was funny, athletic, was able to verbally communicate, and most importantly, needed little supervision with hygiene related stuff (including cleaning his colostomy bag).
So the first day the boy came to stay, I was assigned to get him ready for school. When I walked into his room, I was greeted with two fists-ful of spit flung at my face, and the flinger (who looked like the Hamburglar without the costume) was shrieking and cackling like it was the funniest thing. I told Hamburglar that it was time to get ready for school; he walked up to me, lifted his shirt, unclipped his colostomy bag, squeezed it like it was a pastry bag, and all the shit inside of it fell onto my shoe. He also thought this was hilarious. Not being able to do much else, I gave him the meanest glare I was able, and told him to sit on the toilet while I cleaned off my shoe. Before he did, he grabbed the supplies (a plastic bottle and a thing that looks like a turkey baster) he used for cleaning out his colostomy bag and started to do it the way he was supposed to. So I thought he finally got his evil-ness out of his system and was finished testing me... boy, was I wrong!
While I was still cleaning the remaining shit off my shoe, Hamburglar had filled the turkey-baster thing with water and shit, and squirted it all over my pants and in my hair, and laughed about it. So I silently washed him myself, and handed Hamburglar off to someone else to feed him. After that, I washed my hair in the sink, and managed to borrow clothes that almost fit me; the boys I take care of aren't very big and I'm six feet tall.
So I had to cram my big ass and hips into a boys' pair of jeans that barely met my ankles, and a Stone Cold Steve Austin T-shirt that was too tight and made my boobs stick out, and had to look semi-retarded myself for the rest of the day. But I guess it beats being covered in shit.
Love, Gina
From nosinaround@yahoo.com Mon Jan 22 16:18:21 2001
Date: Sat, 20 Jan 2001 14:18:15 -0800 (PST)
From: nosinaround@yahoo.com
To: whatever@whatevermagazine.com
Subject: "Next time YOU take his ass to the dentist!"
Hi, gang!
This is your working girl, Gina Eccher here, with a summary of yesterday's job mis-hap.
I work at a huge facility for people who are mentally retarded; I work in the building where children and teenagers live. Yesterday, my supervisor elected me to take a very bad boy to his dentist appointment (no one else wanted to), so I said "yes", because I'm nice.
The boy I had to take is nine years old, and has one arm that is useless and kind of hangs like a chicken-wing, but his other arm is as big as Popeye's. He can move a big couch with three people sitting in it... no exaggeration. He is very difficult to control. But he'd be such a cool kid if he wasn't so destructive.
So we got to the dentist, and this boy started shrieking and cackling like I was murdering him; after the dentist tried to get some X-rays, she wanted to clean his teeth. Since this boy was struggling and fighting us (believe me-- he is very very strong despite his disability), the dentist asked me to hold his arms down while she did her dental stuff, and the dental assistant did her thing with the spit-sucker thing, and another dental assistant had to come and hold his head still. While all this was going on, the boy forced himself to throw up (he could do it with no hands), and he blew chunks--right in my face!
The dental people watched the boy while I cleaned up and called my supervisor to tell her what happened; and it turns out she forgot to tell the nurse to give him a sedative that morning to make him a little more managable.
I wanted to wrap an aluminum baseball bat around someone's head after all that.
Thanks for reading!
Editor's Note: Thanks for the enthusiastic description of a challenging, puke-filled day! Please keep us updated!
