Issue 5 Contents


Sextasy Ball at The Strand, October 1996

Elevator Drops
For some reason, this year's Sextasy Ball was held mid-week instead on on a weekend when people really wanna get their sex up. Sure there were a few hundred who showed up for the ball, but compared to last year, it was kind of a bust. That aside, the three bands that played really did great sets. This year's bill had The Elevator Drops, Impotent Sea Snakes, and Psychotica - three fine made-up, cross-dressing, pop-techno freaking nut-ball bands.
Plus for a mere five bucks you coul d get a polaroid of yourself taken at "de Sade's tent," some portable bondage shack from some local smut house. I don't know how you could ask for anything more on a Tuesday, or Wednesday.

Elevator Drops went on first and managed an enthusiastic set even though most people hadn't showed. People moved away from the dildo vendors and video booths when Elevator Drops did thier pop hit "Be a Lemonhead (Beautiful Junkie)." The song starts with the line "You would make such a beautiful junkie; you could dance with a touriquet monkey..."

Elevator Drops have a cool trippy sound and switch from pop to noise fairly well. They hide behind fake names: Gool-kasian, Fitts and Garvey J., to be specific, but it lends an air to their sarcastic lyrics and pretty boy posing. The drummer, Fitts ( The man in the Orange Suit), has the old Who symbol on his bass drum, and poses like he's in an old Bowie video the whole time.

I give them credit for not slacking off just because people weren't around. They did a pretty good set - hopefully next time they'll play a Friday night or something.

The next band, The Impotent Sea Snakes, have probably one of the best concepts I've ever seen. Ya know how people always say, Well we gotta let the Nazis parade, this is America and everybody has their rights. It sucks but that's the way it has to be.

Well the Impotent Sea Snakes have decided that they're sick of the Nazis, the NRA, and the fucking abortion freaks having all the fun. ISS brings transvestite, cross dressing, naked chicks, and devil-worshipping flag-burners out for a truly awe-inspiring First Amendment Freak Display with a punk rock soundtrack.
The five male members of the band - 13, Buck Futt, Dick Liquor, Cheetah Lamour, and Bone, are all ugly guys in drag. They show up in leather thongs, fish net stockings, and lingere, and they bust out the power chords as members of the ISS troupe perf orm sex acts around them.

During their rendition of the Rolling Stones' "Sympathy for the Devil," the gay guy with the blue dreadlocks and silver hot pants tied the topless girl with the big 'uns to a cross and lightly burned her. This was after she pranced around with anothe r chick (smal 'uns) who had a sign that said "Worship the Devil." The both of them gave the blue dreadlocked guy in silver hot pants a fake blow job while he sweated it out under his devil mask. It got very hard to keep track of what the band was playing.

Eventually the band decided to let anybody who wanted join them on stage. The "Fucking Vietnam Vets" wouldn't let them burn the flag like they normally do, so this was their revenge. I got worried because I was standing a few feet behind some guy who looked like most like a vet - moustache, baseball cap, mechanic outfit, you know - anyway he was front and center hanging on the stage for the whole set so when he got up on stage I waited to see if he was gonna deck somebody before I hopped up. Instead he began rubbing up on the bass player - Dick Liquor - like they was old buddies.

Needless to say ISS rules, if only for their concept. Anybody who invites you up on stage to dance with naked chicks and a guy in pink wig and a coat with the word "fuck" all over it can't be that bad.

After we scrambled back off the stage and composed outselves Psychotica came out. I don't know much about them, except a friend at work read on the internet that lead singer dude has his dick totally cut off.

He read it in one of the tattoo/ peircing/ body modification zines. I spent most of their set staring at his package trying to figure out if the thing was real or not. I can't say for sure, but it didn't impress me as being something I'd want to get to find out for in person.